What? No! But your pretty hands, dude! WE WATCHED YOUR HANDS AT THE OSCARS!

Dominic Monaghan likes to dress like a girl! (P.S. I’m sorry for linking you to such a trashy website.)

It is totally unacceptable for me to find out at this late date. I was going to marry Dominic Monaghan. He can do surprisingly accurate imitations of people, and he has nice hands, and he has nice hands! And although I am all in favor of guys wearing whatever they want and doing their thing and whatnot, I can’t marry someone who has nicer skirts than I have! Or better manicured and more evenly painted fingernails! I — I just — I don’t — this news has reduced me to a stammering mess.

Nezabeth is probably the only person who will appreciate the tragedy of this news. Three years in a row we watched the Oscars when Lord of the Rings was nominated (Nezabeth, I shall miss watching the Oscars with you this year!), and we got very excited every time someone talked about Lord of the Rings, because at once everyone would start clapping, as they do for films at the Oscars, and then the camera would go to the stars of Lord of the Rings and THERE would be Dominic Monaghan’s lovely hands! And Nezabeth and I, we are both all about the hands, so it was very exciting to have all these pretty hands for three years in a row to look at, and I was definitely going to marry Dominic Monaghan. So I just don’t really know what to do with myself now.

Dominic Monaghan also apparently is an active and adament environmentalist (hooray for you, dude) and “owns a small forest in India”. I guess you can do with that information what you will.

Tremendous a blow as this has been to my matrimonial expectations, I still expect I will be okay, because there is still Hugh Jackman and although he cannot do impressions as well as Dominic Monaghan, he can sing songs to me and he has very nice hands as well.