I am such a loser groupie that I waited outside a stage door for over an hour and a half just to make her sign my large and beautiful Rent book. Jane P took me to see Wicked in the West End (it was my birthday present), and Idina Menzel with her gorgeous beauty and best voice ever was in it and she was so insanely good. It was just ridiculous how good she was. I wish I could have recorded the whole performance, but that would be illegal so of course I did no such thing. Ask me about my incredible restraint in this regard; I will hook you up. If I had recorded it, anyway, the louder and higher bits would have made crackly noises so the very best of Idina Menzel would not sound that good, so that wouldn’t have been any good, although my lil recorder records with fantastic quality when it’s on, very clear with very little ambient noise. I’m just saying.
We waited outside the stage door afterwards, and there were all these people, and we were all like, LEAVE. WE ARE HERE FROM AMERICA and I had my inconspicuous Rent book for signing, which I had brought in my suitcase all the way from America! In my suitcase! So I wasn’t going ANYWHERE. This guy came down and said, “I’m very sorry, but none of the actors are going to come out, they have a very small window of time between shows, you’re free to wait but they won’t be coming down.” Which nobody fell for. And then twenty minutes later, after a bunch of actors had come out, he came out again and said, “Yes, Ms. Menzel is really not coming down at all,” and then most everyone left. Why I am not sure, because now it was obvious that people were coming out so that they could eat food before they went on stage again, but whatever, a bunch of people left, and as time dragged on more and more and more people left, and ultimately it was just me and Jane and this British girl called Tracy with like five bags of stuff she had bought in the lobby.
Tracy is my hero because when the actor playing Fiyero came back (Adam Garcia from Coyote Ugly, which means nothing to me but Jane was happy), she faked crying, and he was TOTALLY TAKEN IN and we suspect he made Idina Menzel come down and hurrah! she signed my Rent book! She signed it! Hurrah! It got signed! She was in a tremendous rush to get a muffin in Victoria Station, so we did not enjoy extensive conversation, but I was really pleased.
In honor of this lovely show, I append an absolutely gorgeous rendition of “I’m Not That Girl”. You didn’t know that my sister and I were so gifted, did you? Yeah, you didn’t. Admit it. I have no fear that the Wicked people will find me and make me take this down because it bears virtually no resemblance to the actual song. See if you can tell which one of us is fucking it up.
Oh. No. I can't on this blog. No sound files. But I will still share it with you if you would like to hear it. Just leave me a note and I will email it to you ANY DAY. It is just magnificent.
P.S. Added retroactively upon transferring this blog: OH MY GOD I didn't wish Oscar Wilde a happy birthday in this post. I must just not have noticed the day. Happy birthday Oscar Wilde!
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