I completely hate myself

You won't be able to believe what I did. I can hardly believe what I did. If Bonnie had been with me this would never, never, never have happened. I am the stupidest person in the whole world and I have missed out on something beautiful and uplifting, all because of rank cowardice and an ability to be too easily satisfied.

So I was walking back from class, right, and I happened to notice that one of the apartments in my complex had a board game scattered all over the cement in front of the door. I paused and glanced at it, and then I realized there was a sign on the door that said something along the lines of GET A CLUE BITCH (the, uh, the game was Clue), and then underneath that it said some other things including (again, something along the lines of) WHY DO YOU WANT 2 B ON MYSPACE SO BAD? and some other scattered insults.

Things I didn't do that I now really wish I'd done:

1) Take the close-up picture of the sign first, rather than doing the wide shot encompassing door and game first, and
2) Remembered to save the close-up picture after I took it, and
3) Stolen the sign (IF BONNIE HAD BEEN WITH ME WE WOULD HAVE, DAMMIT), or
4) Come back straight away with my real camera, not just my cell phone, and taken further pictures, or
5) Not waited for several hours before trying to call Robyn to tell her about it and realizing the close-up of the sign was gone, or
6) Been brave enough when I did go back to say to the girl walking purposefully towards the door, "Hey, you know that sign you're about to tear off your door in disgust? Can I have it?"

Seriously, that sign was beautiful and I would have swiped it and sent it into Found Magazine like damn except that there was some lingering part of me that was like, "Well, hey, maybe the BITCH in question actually really needs to GET A CLUE, and maybe it actually is important that she contemplate the serious question of why she wants 2 b on MySpace so bad", and anyway far be it from me (I thought) to interfere in what is obviously a deeply painful inter-flatmate schism between a BITCH and a COMPLETE LUNATIC, and anyway I have these pictures that I took so I will never forget this sign.

And it didn't work out that way. So now I've learned a valuable lesson: Steal shit. Crime pays.