Saturday, November 25, 2006

Hmph. Why am I in England when there are cousins at home?

So I missed Thanksgiving with my family. Whatever. Here are the babies I did not see, in age order:

1. Joseph
2. Ryleigh
3. Emma (born on my birthday!)
4. Catherine
5. Kaitlyn

About these latter two babies I am not sure of spelling because nobody has informed me. (My family is nice but not very good at communicating; for instance, I did not know that Robyn had gotten a job at Semolina’s, and most of my extended family did not know that I was in England. And really, it’s just a coincidence that anybody let me know that my cousin Stacey was pregnant, because usually my sisters and I find out weeks later when Aunt Becky comes over and mentions it and we’re all like WHAT? SOMEBODY IS PREGNANT? YOU MEAN MORE BABIES? WOO-HOO! and my parents are like, Oh, we told you that! but actually they never did.)

Can I just repeat that? Stacey is pregnant! I mean, you can’t tell really, but I promise, she’s pregnant. Babies! Babies! Babies! How I love ‘em!


At Stacey’s wedding she was very beautiful and the fountain overflowed before she came down and we mopped it up with a lot of towels, and we were promised pictures of this phenomenon but have never beheld any.

I have lots of cousins and I did not see any of them. Robyn took some pictures, which is why this picture of Becca Lee with a mustache is captured on film:


I was going to crop that one more, but I couldn’t bear to because out the window you can see Uncle Don taking a picture of someone else, and Uncle Don is funny. He is also very relieved because the new babies (at least Ryleigh and Kaitlyn) like to have their pictures taken, and Ryleigh poses cutely for the camera. He looks forward to a new generation of camera-loving children, because me and my cousins were absolutely dreadful about having our pictures taken. We would shriek MR CAMERA MAN and run away very fast and hide. I will do my level best to teach my new baby cousins that cameras are joyous friendly things and having one’s picture taken is the best possible good they can hope for in their young lives.

Here is Emma with her mum (my cousin Nichole). She is cute and she was born on my birthday, and I like the name Emma.


And here is my Uncle Wayne with one of his three grandchildren. When his first grandchild was born, Uncle Wayne became the most besotted grandfather ever, which was funny because Uncle Wayne is hardcore, he doesn’t mess around, he cleans rifles when his daughters bring round boyfriends and offers to come break kneecaps of people who haven’t been behaving right towards his nieces. Now there are three grandchildren, and it is my suspicion that Uncle Wayne’s whole brain might just explode with glee.


That is baby Kaitlyn. Uncle Wayne is tickling her, and when Robyn sent me this picture it was so cute I didn’t know what to say.


Robyn got fewer pictures of baby Catherine, I think because baby Catherine stayed inside and hung out with Mom Reiners, so this one is not as clear, but here is baby Catherine, and she is a dear little chubby thing.


And here is my mum with baby Kaitlyn. From what I have heard, my mother was an enormous baby hog. Apparently she would seize babies from everybody who had a baby and then run away outside like a greedy, greedy woman and keep the babies all to herself. Here she is outside with a baby whom–let’s face it–she has probably snatched from a weeping Mom Reiners.


And these two pictures I have saved for last because they are my most favorites of the ones Robyn took, and I think I’m just going to use them as my desktop wallpaper on alternate months for the rest of my life.


Aunt Becky is as happy as a clam because she has not one, not two, but THREEEEEEE babies to cuddle! (Okay, Joseph is not a baby, as you can tell from his extremely cute–er, I mean grown-up–belt. He did, however, just recently notice that baby Catherine is missing something, and he was totally horrified apparently: WHERE IS HER PENIS?)

Okay. Are you ready for this much cuteness? I’m really not sure that you are. Because this is mighty cute. Here is my uncle Karl with baby Kaitlyn, and it is the cutest picture of a baby ever.


I told you! Didn't I tell you? Did I say I had the cutest baby picture ever? Wasn't I TOTALLY RIGHT?

Edit: I have the names all sorted now, unless my Mumsy is mistaken. I’m glad baby Catherine is not Kathryn because then she would be very much like Kaitlyn. I commend my cousin Stephanie for choosing the best spelling of a very pretty name for her dear little baby. I should never have trusted Robyn’s spelling of Kathryn; she also spelt Kaitlyn Katelynn because she has a friend called Katelynn. I don’t know why that didn’t clue me in that Robyn is not to be trusted.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Aww!

(Does your cousin Nichole, the mother of Emma, look a _whole_ lot like your mother, or am I hallucinating and they share not a drop of blood?)

Anonymous said...

They share not a drop of blood, I’m afraid. So you’re just a big crazy.

Anonymous said...

tim, it’s just a hair thing. Get over it.

I just want to make a statement For The Record. Unlike most babies, baby Kaitlyn LOVED me. She stretched out her tiny arms and widened her enormous eyes and made a perfect “O” with her mouth and said (in a baby whisper), “hi-i-i-i-.” So when I picked her up, I was simply responding to her baby needs. And I was helping out everybody else, because they were all simply exhausted from holding babies. Please note that Kristy and Stephen, parents of Kaitlyn, and Stephanie and Joe, parents of Kathryn, did not once ask to have their babies back. And you know why? Because their arms were tired. “Thank God for Aunt Nancy” - that’s what they were thinking.

Anonymous said...

Oh, I am such a bad aunt. I had Kaitlyn’s name right, but I completely blew little Catherine’s name. She is a proper Catherine, like St. Catherine of Siena. That is a lot to live up to, but Catherine is a natural contemplative and she is up to the job.

Anonymous said...

Jenny, loved the comments. But, you are wrong about one thing, my brain has already exploded with glee. How else would you explain the fact that I haven’t “capped” a single knee since Joseph was born. I think it’s that grandfatherly thing. However, if one were to absolutely need such corrective action I’m sure I’m still up to the task. Meanwhile I’ll just sit around and wait for the girls to learn pronounce Opa.
By the way, I brought Joseph hunting this weekend. He will be quite the hunter by his fourth birthday.
Love Ya,
Unc Wayne

Anonymous said...

I resent being blamed for the name spelling mix ups. There are approximately 10 billion ways to spell the babies’ names. It’s not my fault I didn’t know the correct one! I insist you remove the edit which insinuates, not very subtly either, that I’m stupod!

Anonymous said...

omg jenny! your family makes the cutest babies in the world! i want one! can i reproduce with someone in your family so that i may have a beige baby??

Anonymous said...

Yes! Mixed-race babies are so cute! I wish I had a brother to offer you in marriage!

Anonymous said...

Cute babies must run in your family or something. Usually there’s at least one ugly one, but not from your family! Nice.