I have totally saved your asses, people who read this blog and are planning to travel by wind-powered boat to the Southern Hemisphere. I am going to give you a handy navigational tip!
Apparently, there is no north star in the Southern Hemisphere! No North Star whatsoever! You can’t use the North Star to navigate in the Southern Hemisphere. So if you’re traveling to the Southern Hemisphere, and you were planning on depending on the North Star for navigational purposes, you would have been SHIT OUT OF LUCK. Because when you cross the equator, the North Star, it completely and totally and utterly vanishes, and you can’t see it! And you can’t use it to find North!
Okay, so let me help you out. If you’re in the Southern Hemisphere, and you’re having navigational issues, just search for the Southern Cross! Not the North Star but the Southern Cross. It is a very teensy little constellation, but if you follow the line created by the two stars (I know that a cross requires four stars, so try very hard to pick the two correct ones), they will take you right to the South Pole. Or, y’know, close enough.
See? I have SAVED YOU.
More saving information: If you get into a fight with an alligator or a crocodile, hit it on the nose, poke it in the eyes, and scream a lot. If that doesn’t work, play dead.
Even more saving information: Garlic fends off vampires and also like demons and werewolves.
You are so very, very welcome.
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3 comments:
I don’t know how to break this to you, Jen, but I have to be honest: I knew about the Southern Cross. In fact, I think quite a few people know about the Southern Cross.
(Like, possibly, everyone but you.)
I didn’t.
This stupid Swedish guy names Olucean (but with more umlauts) told me that if you bring a eucalyptus tree from Australia to the northern hemisphere it will unravel, because the fibres of the wood have a certain rotational spin to counteract the torque of the earth spinning. Like the way toilets down there flush in the opposite direction?
I’m pretty sure that guy was full of shit I think.
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