This dream I had about Amber Benson

I was reading Sunshine before bed last night, and I noticed that one of the reviews on the back was a quote from Amber Benson, which I wouldn’t have noticed previously because, of course, I didn’t know who Amber Benson was. (I still think that’s a little strange – does being in a vampire show make you blurb girl for a vampire book?) But then I fell asleep and had a dream about Amber Benson. It was a really strange dream. She was inexplicably in my living room, and I was like, “Amber Benson! Hi! I’m so excited to see you!” (and I really, really was, like we had been best friends in elementary school and I’d just lost track of her). And then she said, “Hey, we need to go witness the Dark Lord’s rise, okay?” and since I remembered what happens in that scene – their wands connect, and Harry escapes heroically! and apart from Cedric Diggory’s death and the post-traumatic stress for Harry, everything works out fine! – I agreed to go with her. They were having it in one of the houses way down at the other end of my street. But halfway down there I remembered that Voldemort had been replaced at the end by a lady Dark Lord, and I didn’t know how that was going to go, so I said, “You know what, Amber Benson? You go on and I’ll just see you back at the house.” And on my way back home a bunch of Tolkien dwarves hopped out of a tree and gave me some sandwich cookies – which leads me to believe I may have gotten them confused with Keebler elves.

I think my subconscious is having some issues about sorting out fictional universes. Also, I think the lady Dark Lord might have been Sarah Palin – I didn’t get close enough to see her well, but she looked like Tina Fey, and I know that Tina Fey represents Sarah Palin to my brain (because my aunt said that Tina Fey would spoof Sarah Palin really well).

Then after that, I dreamed that God was knocking very hard on my door and I was so, so sleepy, but I finally managed to drag myself out of bed to go answer it, and I was running quickly downstairs all grumbly and rehearsing under my breath how I was going to yank open the door and say, “Okay then, GOD. You have woken me UP. WHAT was so damn IMPORTANT it couldn’t WAIT until the MORNING?” But I woke up before I answered the door. (Which is too bad, because the last time I dreamed I met God, we were total BFF.)

Thanks, subconscious. Despite the incredible subtlety of this message, I have managed at last to decipher your meaning. I still don’t know what you were talking about with Amber Benson and the Keebler dwarves.