But why is the rum gone?

Last night my flatmates and I all turned ourselves into piratey piratey pirates because it was pirate night at the Underground (it is really called Sub-Zero but why bother with that?), and it was lots of fun. The boys of the flat were lazy and did not bother very much with decking themselves out in a proper pirate fashion; one picture will really suffice to illustrate this.


But that’s fine, you make the most of what you have, and my costume would have been similarly lame if I hadn’t borrowed most of it from Steve. The boots are mine, and the pants are mine, but the shirt and the thing on my head and the eyepatch and the sword are all Steve’s. As we will see in a moment, Steve was the one of us who really took the pirate thing and ran with it. But first a moment to admire Trish’s artistic skills, which I must admit are prodigious. Here she is cutting up a piece of cardboard that previously belonged to some sort of frozen food box, and please notice how serene she looks, in the manner of St. Therese patiently carrying out a tiring duty because she knows it will Glorify The Lord:


And here are the results, which she created totally without having any sort of pattern or anything but just by examining my sword as an example and then cutting up hers similarly:


See? That’s a pretty sword-like sword (dagger-like dagger, I suppose would be more accurate). I was very impressed, and so must you all be. Here are some more piratey pictures. Flick looks very rakish and vaguely French (why else do you think she has this outrageous accent, you silly king?)


Kieran would have been totally lost without Steve and me, because I lent him that eyepatch, Steve let him cut up a blanket to create that thing on his hand, and Steve also tied his bandanna. But the scar is Elliot’s work.


And Sarah got all of her accessories from a children’s pirate kit in which everything was made out of paper, but really I think she pulls it off pretty well. She also has a little paper treasure chest with little paper pieces of gold and silver inside.


But let’s face it, Steve went the extra mile and was the best of all, and the rest of us must just bow to his genius.


I like the hat so much. It is a proper pirate hat, and although the hair is attached, Steve is going to rip the hair out and use the hat In Life, which just goes to show that we really were meant for each other. Here we are, but Steve does not have his pirate-mustache because it fell off and he hadn’t taped it back on again yet:


And here is another one of us, although I am not wearing my eyepatch because I forgot to put it on. Steve and I are both looking piratey, and in between us you may espy Elliot looking like a total lunatic. This is only because he is one.


And one more, because Steve is wearing all his pirate regalia and his jacket as well:


Last but not least, a group shot. If you look at this picture and you think, Jenny looks drunk as a lord, then you are correct; but if you (very reasonably) think that Steve is high you are mistaken on that point. In back (from left) are Flick, Trish, Sarah, me, and Steve, and Elliot and Kieran are in front.


Yes, a good time was had by all. I was going to get a rum and coke so that I could bellow WHY IS THE RUM GONE but the thing is that I do not think I like rum, whereas I am quite certain that I like vodka lemonades (which taste exactly like delicious Sprite), so I went that route instead. And I yelled WHY IS THE RUM GONE anyway. And I answered myself because I have that entire movie memorized and it is all in my head even when I am a trifle tipsy. That was how I entertained myself in my senior year English class before the nice teacher came, when we still had the crazy dumb lady who threw Jane Patton’s test paper on the ground because Jane was protesting her total failure to grade the tests with anything resembling accuracy.