Why Middleton Library is better (and worse) than the one at Essex

Okay, here’s why.

Worse

The Sloman library (for such is its name) has a handy paper inside the lifts (authentic British phrase!) that explains what sections are on each floor, so you don’t have to interpret the Library of Congress numbers when you have no idea what they’re supposed to mean. They also have it printed on the shelf tags on each shelf, in pretty specific detail. So hurrah for that! although I don’t need it because I know where the Oscar Wilde books are, and what more is really necessary?

Better

Essex is smaller.

Revolving doors. The perpetually revolving ones that you have to leap into as they go around and walk quickly enough that they don’t smack you in the ass. What do you do if you’re extremely old? Or handicapped? That’s what I want to know.

Lifts. They also move perpetually, and they’re open, so you just have to leap on them as they’re coming and going and tough shit for you if there’s somebody getting off when you’re getting on because then you just have to wait for the next one. And it’s only two people to a lift at a time. And no children allowed. And you know what they’re called, do you know? They are called paternoster lifts, as in like Our Father, and yes, they are actually called that because you pray getting on and off that you won’t fall flat on your face or whatever. Check them out on Wikipedia and please take note of the terrifying picture. My favorite part of the post is the common misconception paragraph, which helpfully informs you that the elevator could shut down with you inside if you don’t stand totally still if you miss getting off at the ground floor and keep going down (or up at the top floor, whatever). P.S. My university is mentioned in the article as being one of the only ones left (aren’t we honored?). THIS IS TERRIFYING.