I'm not talking about cockroaches. You already know all about that. I'm talking about other things. See, when I was a kid, I read James and the Giant Peach, and James said about how you should never kill a spider because they are good and helpful creatures. This has affected me hugely throughout my life. Not so much when he said nice things about centipedes. Centipedes are awful and I wish they would become extinct because they horrify me. Looking at a centipede makes me feel like I will throw up.
But spiders, right? I feel so, so guilty killing spiders. If there is a spider in my house, I mostly try to ignore it, or else trap it under a glass and take it outside. It's because of Miss Spider. She was incredibly helpful and handy to have around, when they went a-traveling on the peach, and I have only killed a few spiders in my time, and I have never felt good about it.
When it is a mosquito-hawk, I feel guilty then too. But they freak me out. I can't not kill them because I am freaked out by just knowing that they are inside my apartment. That's really not an adequate reason for taking a life, which I also know, so when I am chasing them down shrieking battle cries and brandishing my broom like a maniac, I will alternate my shrieks between "DIE YOU VILE BEAST" and "I AM SORRY THAT I HAVE TO KILL YOU BUT YOU FREAK ME OUT!"
(I doubt that this makes the mosquito hawks feel better.)
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2 comments:
It DID fly up your nose. I wouldn't feel too guilty if I were you.
No, well, I felt justified in killing that one. I just couldn't find it. It's still in my apartment somewhere. When I find it I probably won't apologize.
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