I can't say enough unpleasant things about Stephenie Meyer's Twilight books. Damn books are damn stupid, with the bad writing and the trashiness and the dysfunction presented as True Love. But today I was reading reviews of Lonely Werewolf Girl (sometimes when I'm bored I read reviews of books I've read already so that I can make fun of/wholeheartedly agree with the reviewers), and the reviewer also mentioned Twilight and how vampires are all sexy and werewolves get sneered at while the vampires are sexy Edward-Rochester characters.
I had to read that twice because my brain was busy exploding.
Edward Cullen. Cullen. Not Rochester. Edward Rochester is half of my all-time favorite literary couple, the literary crush that realistically I wouldn't marry even if I could because I couldn't ever imagine him with anyone other than Jane Eyre. Edward Cullen is creepy stalker vampire guy.
So I did some Googling, and it turns out that Stephenie Meyer imagined Edward as a conglomeration of Mr. Rochester, Mr. Darcy, and Gilbert. Anne's Gilbert. Blythe. (Pfft, Gilbert. Barney Snaithe is better; Stephenie Meyer has no taste. If she'd included Dean Priest, that would have been more like it.) And, okay, I'm not a huge fan of two of these three guys, but when I read that Mr. Rochester business, and how she named Edward after Mr. Rochester, I got really territorial and wanted to write her a letter that said BACK OFF STEPHENIE MEYER. WE CANNOT SHARE ANY OPINIONS AND YOU DO NOT EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT IS SO GOOD ABOUT MR. ROCHESTER.
Instead of that I decided to complain to the internet.
Based Edward Cullen on Mr. Rochester indeed. I can think of some salient differences - one of them being that when Mr. Rochester tries to bully and manipulate Jane into doing what he wants, SHE GETS PISSED AND LEAVES. And then you know what happens, when she has done the appropriate boundary-setting? He is very, very sorry and displeased with himself because he knows he was wrong, and then they get married and live happily ever after. OF COURSE. Because that is what happens when you set appropriate boundaries. You live a happy and fulfilled life. Clever Jane. Clever Mr. Rochester. Clever, clever Charlotte Bronte.
Mr. Rochester is better in every way than Edward Cullen, not just because he learns from his mistakes. He moreover has an excellent sense of humor and has many jokes with Jane, and he is also interested in her opinions, though I guess in fairness Edward Cullen couldn't really be interested in Bella's opinions WHEN SHE HAS NONE. Oh, and also? Also, he shows his betterness by falling in love with a better girl. See how that works? Reflects well on him?
This post seems a little mean to Stephenie Meyer and her protagonist, but I wouldn't be so cross with her if she wouldn't write incredibly popular books that send really awful messages about relationships to thousands of impressionable teenage readers. So.
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This post prompted me to google Barney Snaith, so that I stayed up much later than I should have on Wednesday night reading The Blue Castle on Gutenberg. And yeah, he's much better than stupid patronizing Gilbert, but on the other hand he [SPOILER - not that anyone cares, and not that it isn't totally predictable] wrote all those dippy nature books. Not sure I can forgive him those.
It's good, eh? The Blue Castle? It's maybe my most favorite of LM Montgomery's books, that and Jane of Lantern Hill. My mum and I really love that scene where she's at dinner with her relatives...it's awesome.
But I pretend he didn't write those nature books. He plainly hates himself for being a hack. And he's the only one of LM Montgomery heroes I can ever imagine being any good at - if you'll excuse the indelicacy - sex. Dean Priest might've been a good lay but he was too creepy.
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