My city-related epiphany

So I don't like big cities (they tire me out), and I try to avoid them if I can. Except for Manhattan and London.

People do not tend to understand this. They tend to say, "Those are big cities! Those are huge cities! You don't make any sense, you enormous crazy!" Or something along those lines. And you see, until today I could not defend myself against the charge of insanity, except of course by saying that I am not crazy because London and Manhattan, they are just better than other big cities, and that's why. Only I didn't really feel good about saying that, because lots of people are totally crazy about other big cities like San Francisco and Atlanta and Chicago, and they can't possibly all be off their heads.

But today, you see, there was this epiphany that I had. I think what I actually don't like is carful big cities. I think the thing about New York and London is that it's way not handy to have a car there, and you are much better off walking around on your feet and taking the Tube, which will get you everywhere good that you need to go. Or, in emergency situations, maybe a bus, though I have never found this necessary and London buses frighten me.

In other cities, it is helpful to have a car. That is why they are scary. No matter what city I am in, I will inevitably get lost, and I'd far rather not get lost while zooming along at high speeds in the midst of a lot of other people zooming along at high speeds. If I get lost in London, I do not have to freak out, and there is never an occasion where someone says, "Oh wait! I recognize this! Turn left, turn left!", and I panic because there is too much being-lost stress and I forget which one is left and I'm terrified of missing the turn and then I do miss the turn and then I have no idea how to get back again. Which has never happened because I have never driven around any big cities, but I'm sure it would happen because I have no sense of direction and my sense of left and right isn't great and in times of crisis has been known to desert me entirely. If I am walking, I have plenty of time to contemplate my choices, and it is much easier to turn around and go back the way I came if I am on foot.

It is also possible that I like New York because the streets are helpfully numbered, and London because I was shown around it for a month once and consequently know where lots of things are. Today, for instance, I got lost trying to walk from Holborn to Covent Garden, and before I had even begun to approach despair, I spotted Nelson's column way off in the distance and made for it because I knew that there was Charing Cross Station, and from there I could get the Tube to Leicester Square and walk to Covent Garden (though I am not brilliant at getting to Covent Garden from Leicester Square.) But in the event I found a sign saying Covent Garden this way and I followed it and it was that way, so I did not have to go all the way to Trafalgar Square in order to reorient myself.

Today was also notable in that I got to show off London to my darling cousin, who was there for a few days. I love showing off London, and she was an appreciative audience. We ate at Wagamama (yum! but I must stop relying on the one at Southbank, because it's always crowded and also makes me anxious because all the white people are servers there and all the black people are cooks and I can't work out any explanation as to why it should have been arranged that way. There is one at Covent Garden, one on Bloomsbury Street, and one at the Tower of London. Must remember that.), and then we went to Covent Garden and saw the markets and some street performers (who persisted in trying to throw things onto their head using only one foot while balancing precariously on ladders and unicycles). And I showed her the Globe, also. I love the Globe. I LOVE THE GLOBE.

P.S. Percy the fatous imbecile from Black Adder is playing Iago in Othello right now. Go figure. I will definitely be hitting that up. Alone, sadly, because nobody wants to see it with me, due apparently to the fact that Othello overreacts to his suspicions of Desdemona's unfaithfulness. I'm not pointing fingers or anything, but one of the people who has said this to me watches One Tree Hill. So you know. Whatever. I mean, one might argue that Dan kills Keith for no reason, in an overreacty fashion, but hey, it's none of my business, I don't pay no nevermind, I don't say a word, not one single word.

I overheard a man in London saying, "I don't want to watch Mormon TV!" in a very angry voice. I would have thought that I misheard him, but then he said it again. What is Mormon TV? Or perhaps, why is Mormon TV? I wanted to ask him but even more I wanted to get in line to eat chicken katsu curry at Wagamama, so I did that instead. But now that I'm no longer starving, I kind of regret it.