Something that kind of irritated me the other day even though it was not a big deal in any way

I was getting ready to print some stuff, and I had this pack of colored paper all set to print the stuff on, and it was in five colors, and on the top of the packet it said what all the colors were. And two things about this packet of paper irritated me, to wit:

1. The papers were stacked in the following order: orange, yellow, purple, pink, green. But on the front of the packet where it said what colors of paper lived inside the packet, do you know what it said, do you know? It said: Orange. Yellow. Very Violet. Lime Green. Very Pink. It's like, it's like they couldn't even be bothered to look at the packet they were wrapping up in printed cellophane! And you know what, Paper Company That I Don't Remember The Name Of And So This Is Going To Be What Is Known As An Empty Threat? (That's a lot of capital letters. I need a quick break.)

Okay, break over, now tell me something, you paper company that manufactures colorful paper for printing handouts on. If you don't care enough to look at your product before you ship it to hundreds - nay, thousands! - of office supply stores across the nation, then WHY SHOULD I BUY IT? You know what I'm going to do now? I'm never ever going to buy one of your paper products again! Never! Not even if I'm stranded on an island with nothing on it but a lot of pens and trees and shops that sell packets of your paper! Instead I will use the bark of the birch trees. Didn't think of THAT, did you? Or I will seduce the shopkeeper and write upon his receipt paper.

2. The color names. I think what happened was this: The paper company hired two people as color name inventors, these positions having been recently and unexpectedly vacated. I think probably one of the previous color name inventors choked to death on a bone that surprised him by turning up in his plate of gyros, and the other one was executed in a tragic case of mistaken identity in Berlin. (Though that is purely speculation). And I think that when the two new people showed up on the job, everything was in such a tizzy from the deaths of the previous color name inventors that everyone forgot that the two newbies had no experience in the color name inventing world. And obviously there was no one around to train them, since the only two qualified people had just died. So someone just handed one of them five sheets of paper and told her to name them. And I think that they were both rather discombobulated because they'd never had any training and they didn't know where to begin. And I think that one of them recognized that the green paper was the same color as a lime margarita and named it Lime Green, and you see the thing was, he didn't know (not being in the Industry) that it wasn't very inventive to call it that, and then once he had come up with that the two of them felt like they were ready for anything. And I think they looked at the purple one, and one of them mentioned that it wasn't so much purple as violet, and the other one pointed out that it was mighty dark for a violet, and the first one said no, it was just deep violet, and the other one said, Very violet, might one say? and the first one pointed out that "Very Violet" was alliterative and would make an excellent name for that paper color. And the other one agreed and then the fatal thing happened, which was that the first one mentioned that she was really hungry for some Mr. Goodbar, and that made the other one realize that he, too, was hungry for Mr. Goodbar, and then they both really wanted to go on break and have some candy from the vending machine, and so they started to slack off and they figured that if "Very Violet" was good, "Very Pink" would do just fine, and then they got really very hungry indeed for chocolate with peanuts so they found they couldn't be bothered with any new color names before having some candy, and they just scribbled Orange and Yellow down to remind themselves what colors they had yet to name, and then they went on break. But see, the vending machine was one of those trying ones that never wants to give you the candy you desire and is constantly telling you that your selection is not available even though you can SEE through the GLASS that it IS; and while the new color name inventors were in the break room trying to convince the vending machine to see things their way, someone came round to their desk and grabbed the piece of paper where they had written down the names and passed it along without even looking at it.

Because that is the only possible explanation for those names.

I just reread this post, and it occurs to me that I should totally get sponsorship from Mr. Goodbar because I have just used product placement.

And then after I wrote that, I looked up "Mr Goodbar" on Wikipedia, and I discovered that there is a movie called Looking for Mr. Goodbar, which stars Diane Keaton, whose character in this film is a quiet and reserved teacher by day and a sexual deviant and bar-hopper by night, and ultimately her sexual addiction and high risk behavior put her life in danger. Wikipedia really says that. Sounds like a value judgment to me. Shouldn't Wikipedia be above such things, Glorious Deliverer of Pure Truth that it is?